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Jun. 14th, 2009


My thoughts put to music

I know it's been months since I've posted anything here. There has been so much going on that I have literally not had any time to post. Still an update on my life will have to wait because my reason for posting is once again Nickelback. They continue to take the words right out of my mouth. How is it possible that they keep coming out with songs that talk about the very things that have been weighing heavy on my mind and heart? Anyway, without further ado:

If Today Was Your Last Day

by Nickelback

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Apr. 29th, 2009


It takes a special person to be a foster parent

From a co-worker at my internship. It gave me a nice chuckle!

Things Learned From Being A Foster Parent

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing transformer underwear and a superman cape.

2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

6. If you use a water bed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.

7. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

8. Some things will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old that you'd imagine would remain in him or her.

9. Super glue is forever.

10. TV and Videos can teach us many things we don't want to know.

11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

12. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

13. DVD players do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

15. The fire department has at least a 5 minute response time.

16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

17. It will however make cats dizzy.

18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

19. The average dog can eat at least 20 homework assignments in a school year per child.

Thanks to all the foster parents out there!

Feb. 8th, 2009


The internship

I am now two weeks into my internship. Last week I was at orientation Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I really enjoyed orientation. I liked meeting all the other new employees and interns. I especially liked meeting Aldo. He is the new licensing worker. I met him the week before when I sat in on a licensing meeting. He is very knowledgeable about foster care and a nice guy.

Tomorrow I am going back to my regular site. I'm having a mild panic attack about it. I think what's freaking me out the most is that I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do all day tomorrow. All I have on my agenda is that I need to get on the computer system and get my email and phone and everything all set up. I have no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my day. I hate when I don't have anything to do. Anticipating that boredom grates at my nerves. It was for this very reason that I left that job I had with the law firm. I sat at my desk for 8 hours a day and twiddled my thumbs. The work they gave me was totally inane.

I simply need to force myself to get over my nerves. I have been trying doing this so far and it has been working out okay, but it leaves me feeling kind of disconnected and like I am living on some kind of edge.

Jan. 7th, 2009


Move over Fleur Delacour!

Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Bill Weasley

Your perfect HP man is Bill Weasley.

You like guys who are cool. And not cool in that fake, dicky way, but actually cool. He's so cool that they couldn't find any actor to adequately portray him, so they decided to just leave him out of the movies rather than risk not doing justice to his coolness. He's like the Chuck Norris of Harry Potter: plain freaking awesome. When Voldemort says "You-Know-Who", he's talking about Bill Weasley.

(Fanarty by The Starhorse http://the-starhorse.deviantart.com/ Used with permission.)

Take The Harry Potter Husband Test
at HelloQuizzy

Jan. 4th, 2009


Some relief at last!


First big news, I visited with Meggie, Rachel, and Grace the weekend after Christmas. It was wonderful. It really is so sad that we all live so far apart. Well, Grace lives in Chicago, but we still never see each other.

Second big news, Margaret leaves tomorrow. I am feeling slightly guilty that I am a bit excited about her leaving, but I can't help it. Her time here was fraught with stress and tears and the usual fights. It saddens me. I try to resist being upset by this because I know it is going to happen each time and I want to protect myself form the pain, but somehow the hope seeps in each time. I also feel kind of bad for her. I am sure it is hard for her to know that she can't really come home anymore. She is well aware that she causes most of the problems and that is very upsetting to her. She came to me crying about a week ago after a big blow out with my mother and she told me through her tears that she didn't know what she was doing to cause the fights, and I didn't have many answers for her. Basically she and my mother are too much alike and they always, both intentionally and unintentionally, push each other's buttons. No amount of coaching from me has made much difference in this area. In the end, we are all happier when there is some distance between us. She is happier in Senegal, and we are happier when she is not around, so why force us together when it just makes everyone miserable?

Third big news, actually the biggest of all, I got an internship! I had an interview on the 30th of December with UCAN, Ulich Children's Advantage Network, and it went really well. They offered me a position right there! I will be working in the foster care program. I will actually be the only foster care intern. Most of the interns are in the counseling program. I would probably have preferred that myself, but I had to take what was available. Plus, I know that the foster care system has a lot of problems, but I have never experienced any of this for myself. I figure if I want to work with kids I need to have at least some experience working in foster care. I am sure this will be a big learning experience for me. I am excited, but extremely nervous because doing this internship is going to be taking a GIANT step out of my comfort zone. Doing anything even slightly out of my comfort zone freaks me out. It is precisely this fear that has kept me from doing many things. I know this about myself, so I have been stubbornly refusing to think about this upcoming change in my life because I know I will only manage to freak myself out and there is nothing I can do at this point but wait. I am sure on my first day I am going to be so nervous I will probably make myself sick, but for now everything is fine.

I think that's all for now. I probably should go to bed because I am going with my mother to the airport tomorrow to drop off Margaret and we are leaving pretty early.

Happy New Year to all!!!

Dec. 17th, 2008


Gotta love a good list!

I love lists! Here's a good one compliments of my friend Julia!

The rule is to "italicize" what you've already done...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Dec. 12th, 2008

Clark in red

I'm up and then I'm down

I'm done! It is such a huge relief to have the semester behind me. These last couple weeks were pretty stressful, but that was mostly due to my inexplicable insistence on doing everything at the last minute. This is a habit that has worked for me for many years, but is starting to become more problematic as the work load increases. Yikes!

On another note, my sister is coming home from Africa on Monday. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. Having her here, in the house, was always the crux of all the problems we had as a family, and having all five of us in the same house is only going to add to the stress. The last time all five us were in this house together was the month before my sister went to Africa, and it was possibly one of my worse months ever. I am possibly more stressed about her coming home than I was about my 9 page mental health research paper, my 12 page practice paper, and my mental health final exam put together. Now that is saying something.

If you are the praying type, please pray that all goes smoothly. I have prayed about this so many times in my lifetime I feel like a broken record. And still nothing has changed.

I need to drop this negative, pessimistic attitude right away. It is only making things worse to be expecting everything to be horrible. It could be great, right?

Probably not, but one can always hope.

Dec. 8th, 2008


It feels like fate...

I am currently in the process of writing a paper for my Practice class. In this paper we are supposed take what we have learned about social work practice this semester and apply it to a client we have worked with. As a part of the paper we have to make a genogram for the client. A genogram, for those who don't know, is like a family tree, but it includes a lot more information. Emotional relationships, health issues, and such are included. In my search for more information about genograms I came across this sample:


It's a genogram for Harry Potter. I couldn't believe it. Harry Potter somehow seeps into every aspect of my life. It's like destiny. I just had to share it with you all.

The key that is included with the genogram doesn't have an explanation of all the emotional relationships portrayed, so here's a link to a more complete key: http://www.genopro.com/genogram/emotional-relationships/

Dec. 2nd, 2008


Twilight in review

I totally forgot that never posted about the new Twilight movie after I saw it! Thanksgiving happened shortly after, and things got really busy around here. I have been thinking about it on and off for the last week and a half, and I've decided that I liked it.

I know that doesn't sound very enthusiastic, but that's because I'm not. I have never been this calm after seeing a Harry Potter movie. But I left the theatre after seeing Twilight with some mixed feelings. My initial reaction was that it was okay, but it lacked something. I don't know what that something could be, but it just felt like there was something missing. I saw it with my pal Julia and we both left the theatre and agreed that the most exciting part of the whole evening was the Half Blood Prince trailer that came before the film. I was careful to watch the movie without any expectations. I started this after I saw The Prisoner of Azkaban. That was the first HP movie I saw where I had read the book beforehand and I was initially very disappointed with the movie. It wasn't till I saw it a second and third time that I started to like it because I realized that there is no way that the movie could be exactly like the book. So, even though I went to see Twilight without any expectations, I was still not thrilled with it.

I will say, however, that they stayed very true to the book. Some things were still left out and some things were still changed, but overall it was much more true to the book than any of the HP films have been. As a big fan of the books I appreciated that, but at the same time I think that part of the reason that the HP movies have been so good and so successful is that they have not been afraid to make changes to the story in favor of making a better movie. I can't believe I am actually saying this, but I think Twilight might have been a better movie if the screenwriters had been a bit more creative with the plot and not been so fixed to the book. Even the best book plots do not make very good movie screenplays. They are just two completely different mediums and as such require different methods to be successful. Movies need more action and visuals and dialogue. You can't hear what the characters are thinking like you can in a book, so something needs to be said or shown to the audience to relay those messages.

That isn't to say that Twilight was not successful. I know it made a boat-load of money on it's opening weekend, but I think that was mainly due to the fans of the book turning up in such huge numbers to see their favorite characters come to life. If Twilight had not been such a successful and popular book, would this movie have made as much money as it did? No, I don't think so. People unfamiliar with the book who saw the movie did not have such a rosy opinion of the movie, like most of the Twi-Hards did.

I know they were on a tight budget when they made the movie. It really showed in many of the effects they attempted like, for example, when the vampires were running. Whenever we saw a shot of James or Edward running through the forest (or *eye-roll* when Edward was climbing a tree) I just cringed in my seat. Summit is not a huge studio, and therefore could not provide the gigantic sums of money that Warner Bros. has been supplying for the HP movies. I do think, or at least I hope, that with the financial success of Twilight the subsequent movies will be better funded, and I hope that will give them the extra umph they need to make them the best they can be.

I have high hopes for New Moon and I am anxious to see how they write that screenplay, given that Edward is absent for most of that book. I hope the writers find a way to include him in the story more because while we could handle his absence in the book (even thought we all screamed and cried when he left), I don't think it would work as well in the movie. Rob Pattinson has become a big star, and he will need to have more screen time than the book plot of New Moon gives him to draw fans to the movie. So much of the marketing for Twilight centered around Edward, or Bella and Edward, that they will need to make sure Edward is still a prominent character in New Moon for continuity's sake. Obviously they will need to develop Jacob's character more because that is the main thrust of New Moon, but they still can't just cast Edward aside and only give him a cameo-like appearance at the beginning and end of the movie.

I'm starting to ramble, so I'm going to cut myself off. I should be working on my research paper for my Mental Health class anyway. Don't let my less than enthusiastic opinion of the movie stop you from seeing it if you are on the fence. It is still a good movie and still worth seeing in the theatre, if for no other reason than to get you to start reading the books! Because, after all, the books are always better!

Nov. 20th, 2008


Wide awake

Something's gotta change. I am becoming increasingly dependent on various pills and supplements just to function normally. I have to take melatonin to get to sleep most nights, and I have to take caffeine pills just to get through the day. My sleeping pattern has been completely off for the past several months. Some evenings I am so tired I can barely get in bed fast enough, and other nights (like tonight) I am still wide awake at 5am. Then some mornings I can barely drag myself out of bed and some mornings I am wide awake even before my alarm goes off. What makes this even more bizarre is that it does not matter how much sleep I got the night before. For example, I only got about three hours of sleep last night. Waking up in the morning wasn't too bad. I was a bit groggy, but was able to get up and get going. Now, however, I am wide awake.

Part of it is my own doing. I should just force myself to go to bed and wake up at normal times, but instead I stay up surfing the internet or watching TV, and then I sleep to noon the next day (if I can).


Well, I'm off to brush my teeth, take out my contacts, and take some melatonin. Night all (and maybe even good morning to some)!

P.S. Twilight arrives 19 hours and 26 minutes!!! Squee!

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