Current mood:

drunk...but not really

Back pain sucks!!!
It's times like these that I wish we had a socialized medical system. I wouldn't be sitting here, at work, in so much pain. I have problems with muscle spasms in my back. If you've never had such a problem count your blessings. It is the most agonizing pain I have ever experienced. Back pain is the worst because you literally can't do anything. You don't realize how much you use your back muscles until you can't. I can't walk, I can't lie down, I can't sit, I can't stand without pain. It started Sunday afternoon. I was fine that morning but as the afternoon progressed the pain got worse and worse till I could no longer move. I still managed to crawl to work on Monday. I brought my vicodin and a heating pad with me. As soon as I got to work I popped a vicodin, plugged in my heating pad, and left my chair as little as possible that day. I couldn't take the vicodin till I got to work because you can't drive when you take it. Tuesday morning my alarm went off and I literally could not get out of bed to turn it off. So, I begrudgingly took that day off. My problem is that I only had a day and a half left of my sick days for the whole year, so I've been trying to save them. This morning I woke up in the same situation, couldn't move. I laid in bed going over my options in my head for an hour before finally realizing that I really needed to say home. I figured I would just have to take the whole day off and take the pay cut. I called and the office manager said I could just use my one remaining personal day. This was bad. I was saving that day for the school year when I might need some extra time to study for a big exam or something. So I slept fitfully that morning and woke up at 10:30. I decided to go into work for this afternoon. I pulled myself together and somehow managed to get to work.

I took a vicodin and a muscle relaxant when I got here at noon and within a half an hour I started feeling funny. The muscle relaxants make me feel drunk, and coupled with the vicodin, I'm now feeling distinctly odd. I feel sort of like I'm floating, like my body is sitting here (still in pain despite all the heavy drugs), but my mind is floating up by the ceiling. It's like I'm here, but I'm not. It's the most bizarre feeling. They also make me very sleepy. I keep sort of nodding off a bit. It's like I have narcolepsy or something. One second I'm typing a voicemail message and the next my eyes are closed and my head is drooping.

What kind of health care system would allow this? There is no point in my being here today. I am getting nothing done. I have spent half my time in a drunken/sleepy stupor, and yet I have to be here because I don't have any more sick days. Having a limited number of sick days is ludicrous! What is the likelihood that every person in this office is going to be sick exactly five days a year? What ends up happening is that people come to work sick and spread the germs around infecting all your coworkers, then when the end of the year comes and they realized that they haven't used all their sick days they call in and pretend to be sick. Ridiculous! If you're sick stay home! If you're well come to work!

Connie has notice that I'm acting strange, and most people here never notice me. So the fact that she noticed really means something. She keeps saying that I should just go home. Ha! I'd love to, but I have used up all my sick days. So for the next four and a half months even if I'm close to dying or have the plague or have to be wheeled in on a stretcher, I'll be here, typing away at these voicemail messages, making a huge impact on the world!